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A quick but quantum note

August 2025

meditation science

This is going to be a quick note, I really want to share this with y’all. Now I’m able to write it, the last couple of weeks I couldn’t but now, that I found some discipline, I’m ready

2 weeks ago, I had a huge anxiety attack, I had like 162 bpm like from nowhere and then I felt quite tired for the rest of the day. I invested the following days recovering myself and it was a hell of a work. Some of the things that caused this was for instance, a person that I loved so much, so so much that I was acumulating things when that love was not the same from her. In quantum mechanics, I would define this as a failed quantum entanglement, no coincidence why I decided to learn quantum physics alongside with Linux and hardcode low-level programming. I still wish that person the best of the best.

Also, I was testing every Linux distro for my host (I went from Ubuntu, Zorin, Vanilla…, Void, CachyOS and Arch. 9 distros in less than one month.) I think I was looking out for the “perfect and free-of-fear distros”. Fear because my choice criteria was considering a distro that is completely FOSS but at the same time, a rolling release with no versions and secure. I lasted 2 days with Void, all the xbps packages broke when my scheduler used the cronjob scheduled to update the entire system at 9 am everyday (At least I understood how runit works and how daemons are handled, as well as the initramfs with dracut.conf with xbps-reconfigure -a) without reading the patch notes. (Also it didn’t help that GNOME has way less support in runit than systemd). I learnt a lot from that. I think I used Fedora Silverblue for 3 days before realizing that the stable versions had EOLs written in /etc/os-release and I didn’t like that (I know I can edit that file with vi but at that time I was kinda lost tbh). Then I tried CachyOS but I moved to Arch cuz CachyOS has less devs and has this risk that a system could ever dissappear (i don’t think that could happen but in case it happens), I have no options but to reinstall that system and I didn’t want to do that. But after 2 weeks of Arch with my hyprland setup, I started to develop signs of moderate anxiety levels with the GAD-7 questionnaire before having that tough and short pain in my left arm that day so rapidly. I was also trying to protect my thinkpad taking it everywhere. So many things happened and I was overthinking them. I’m working on them really, specially now. Filion is already here.

After this thing happened, my first instinct was to talk with my dad. He helped me with some hand-written things and then I noted some things in Sarnion (my forever iPad) and then Filion (my forever ThinkPad with Arch and hyprland). As soon as I realized, I discovered I’m all doing these things for myself, even if that goes beyond society’s limits (even at school or at home tho). I always behave for the good of mankind, but my trascedence is all about freedom. Thats why I have my Arch’s setup and thats why I am building a strong Linux distro. I do not really care about the money for the things that I love. I just want to relief myself on this. Society’s not going to expect me coding in a mall haha. Also my G-Shock DW5600UE named Exion is with me always, as well as my bracelet named Crescion :))

Also I was chatting with some girls I’ve not seen them irl yet (well, non-yet). I noticed some patterns of non-interested from their sides and despite I was not looking for anything, it feels quite bad when someone chooses other priorities over than yours. I checked this pattern when people usually gets very excited to see you for a couple of months and then they just get away slowly. Its a matter of fact that they got bored because of smth that is out of my scope. In classical physics, I would define this as a flying out-of-nowhere particle (if y’all have good name for this, lmk) where these girls have a high cinetic energy and a low potential energy. When they chose other priorities instead of me, they sent some photons to the opposite direction where I was located, quite interesting. Also, in networking topologies, I would say that some people usually with a good TCP connection but then they changed radically to UDP, so its normal that their ACKs are going to be radically different. I’m expecting a TCP connection and it feels quite bad when you realize that all the SYNs are not being recieved successfully. Alice read the message that Bob sent but Alice doesn’t want to reply back. In computer science, its just an HTTP 503 error. ping -c 1 'are u still interested?' > 100% packet loss

I do not think every girl is like this. I know there are some awesome girls (and people in general) outside that are amazing. This is just my experience

What I am trying to tell yall with this is that I built and still building a relationship between all the stuff that happened to me in the last months with some of my passions as way to relax myself, that everything is ok and that some of the things I see normally are uncertain since quantum physics is relatively uncertain. I’m still learning a lot of things ngl, but it is quite strange y’know? I feel this thing helped to develop this sense of curiosity. Some physicists take their time in their spare own solitud time to reflect in uncertain but real things (yes, real). That time is mine. Mine.

As for Xolo Linux, I’m still building it. I changed my server from an EC2 instance to my little fridge (It has a shape of it haha). It has AlmaLinux 8.10 and 24GB of RAM and I build a distrobox container with root privilages and systemd params for a complete .iso build. Prob in the future I’ll use Gitlab CI/CD. I’m setting up a Wireguard VPN so I can work remotely. Since Xolo is based on Debian Stable (not Testing), I had to build a podman container with low-level root privilages since live-build requires some services from systemd. Don’t worry, SELinux is setted up properly and my subnet will have just one rule for the port 51994. Also, I’ve decided to take this thing much slower since I tried to rush some things and I need to adquire some experience before (and to make new friends as well). Because of this, I’m preparing myself to join as an official Debian member as a DD (Debian developer) but first, going as a DM (Debian mantainer). I love Debian, I love Linux. Gunnar Wolf is a great great guy, he’s been teaching me some of the things that you could not find in a proper encyclopedia. If you guys want to chat with him, his mail is gwolf@debian.org.

Some of the things that Xolo will feature are

I’m still discovering some things when it comes to my inner self, my stuff and extensions of life, quantum laws, astronomy and computing. I just have to take one step at a time and I have to accept myself that some of the things that I know, I don’t know them. Uncertain but real.

Love y’all :)

© 2025 Yayo   •